Meethi Chhuri Views

#PunekarLists: 6 Types of Potholes on Pune's Roads

A hilarious list describing the 6 types of potholes on Pune’s roads.

There once was a city named Pune, idyllic, laid back, great weather conditions; it was known as the ‘pensioners paradise’ even. A quintessential, goad mulgi with unparalleled sanskar and beauty to match. However, in her heart, Pune always had a wild streak and so started her affair with IT, PMT and PMC. They could never decide amongst themselves who would have her. Result? War zones ridden with potholes, each with a grisly story to tell. Listen closely because, har gaddha kuch kehta hai!

The Dramatic Soap Opera Pothole

A biker whistles merrily to himself, unsuspecting of the danger that is about to befall him. He crosses one bump, smiles to himself in relief. However, the pothole has a plan, to lure him into a false sense of safety. Before you know it, “dhish-dhish-dhish” another bump and then some loose gravel and then a small road and then dug up road. The tragedy continues… The pothole calmly teaches us a lesson, “This too shall pass.” It does not.

The Femme Fatale Pothole

These are quite like the femme fatale characters of crime movies. Stories of a good girl gone bad, or female killer on a revenge killing spree; basically a good road was once battered by rains and heavy vehicles and is now back with a vengeance to endanger unsuspecting drivers. This pothole often looks harmless, a mole like that on Cindy Crawford’s cheek. Little does one know, it’s a hellhole. Hiding underneath it is a huge drop that can puncture the strongest of hearts (read tyres). All that glitters is not gold!

The Politician Pothole

Quite like the white clad knights of our times, this pothole has a dark history. Smoothed over by tar, rubble and concrete, it thinks that nobody can ever dig up its illustrious past. Alas, the onset of monsoon robs it of all its glory! And so unravels the pothole that is like the Arun Gawli of Indian politics. Bloody stories, cover-ups and sham; all comes to the fore! Importance of good karma, all in a pothole.

The Middle Class Pothole

Not quite unlike the middle class, this pothole is happy in its own world until the drivers of this world decide to trample upon it like some insignificant insect. With injustice in its heart, larger and larger it grows until it has the power to make the most egotistical drivers swallow their pride and avoid it in fear. Is avoidance a solution? Only the PMC can tell.

P.S: They were unavailable for comment.

The Poltergeist Pothole

This pothole comes out of nowhere! It can cause quite a nuisance if not exorcised early. Like a poltergeist infestation, it possesses the owner of the vehicle in its vicious grasp and things start flying around. Airborne beverages and other items form a scene of grave danger and annihilation by the pothole. Always look ahead and not behind, it silently tells us.

The Celebrity Pothole

These are the stretches of potholes that have earned Pune’s roads their reputation. They appear in newspapers first as indicators of apathy and then as success stories! “So and so Impact”, “The so and so wake up call” so on and so forth. They acquire a celebrity status simply by the virtue of being able to get people’s attention! They become landmarks. “There’s a huge pothole at the end of that chowk; take a left from there”. Famous buggers, those.

So, fellow riders and drivers of Pune, this is the story of our city with potholes. We wish for things to turn up for the better, but until they don’t, let’s be optimists and learn the lessons that potholes teach us, shall we? You see, what does not kill you only makes you stronger!

P.S: Be safe out there and always wear a helmet on two-wheelers.

Warning: Wearing a helmet in a four-wheeler could cause people to laugh and think you’re loco. It could also cause your picture to be featured on our Facebook page and you’ll be famous. Your choice 🙂