Reviewing CID? Kuch to gadbad hai!!

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Every once in a while, you get hit by this urge to watch or listen to something terrible, just for the heck of it. If it’s not a senseless (yet meaningful) Mithun movie, it might be Taher Shah’s Eye to Eye. After this video, I was not able to look at myself eye to eye, for a very long time. Yet, there is one thing which will be there on the idiot box even after the earth gets bamboozled by nuclear war. Yes, it’s the one and only ‘dimaag ka dahi show CID which is being telecast for 16 years, longer than any Ekta Kapoor serial! Beat that. Yes, I admit that I am a big fan of this show (CID, not Ekta’s K serials!). So now comes the time to decode the detective series which, for years, has been bringing justice to the victims by getting the criminals to confess their crime just after one slap! Yes, just one and it’s all over.

 

DOWN THE MEMORY LANE

CID1I am one of the ‘fortunate’ few who have been following the show since it hit the Indian television in 1997. And yes, it was a serious detective drama back then. Not many would remember a curly-haired Ashutosh Gowariker as one of the inspectors. Inspector Daya was way thinner (half the He-Man he is now). Over the years, quite a few guys were seen trying to get lucky with this series, including Anup Soni and Rajeev Khandelwal. Despite some seriously doubtful stories, it was incredible to see these guys do their parts with so much sincerity like they’d even win the Emmy awards! Things are definitely not the same anymore.

 

SUCH CHARACTERS

CID2It’s no mean feat to create characters who are so seriously funny that it’s not even funny (get the pun?). We start with the star performer – the man with hypnotic fingers (he could explain Kirchoff’s right hand rule better than our college lecturer) – ACP ‘Kuch Toh Gadbad Hai‘ Pradyuman. I salute Shivaji Satam for being dedicated to the role and the show, despite his inane dialogues and stories. When the good ACP speaks with his big eyes and quirky hand movements as if opening a bottle, you are not sure whether to laugh or get scared. Despite trying to do good work, all you see of Daya is his muscles and his thappad. And yes, he is the enemy no. 1 of the darwaza. When he is anywhere near a house, the doors shiver in terror. What’s more, he is only one among the team to get a romantic track of his own. I bet the others must be cursing themselves for coming on board. Leave alone a romantic track, they don’t have any track to call their own, except for coming to office and getting hypnotised by the scarecrow. We are yet to pass our verdict on Abhijeet who suddenly has memory issues, tries to solve cases and tries to “line marofy” on Dr Tarika.

I am yet to decide whether I want to kill Fredrick or Freddy or just commit suicide. He is someone who doesn’t solve one case, makes mind-numbing stupid jokes and is generally seen getting panic attacks whenever his wife is mentioned. ACP Pradyuman’s favourite Dr. Salunkhe must be one happy fellow at work. He always gets bodies which have been killed with the most weirdest poisons (and hence, traceable) and in the whackiest ways possible. Plus, how he and Pradyuman manage to survive in Mumbai, wearing just suits is questionable. The rest of the cast manage to look sincere.

 

I AM AGHAST

CID3Any episode and its rerun manage to throw up few questions which need to be solved for the mental stability of humankind. Firstly, how is it that anyone and everyone in Mumbai has the cell number of any of the officers? With all the hi-tech gadgets in their office, all of them travel in just one car together. Sitting ducks, I say! I was amused by a question asked online on whether the CID bureau has any hawaldars or not. Ab bolo, ACP saab!

It is amazing to know that the crime rate in Mumbai has dropped down so low that the CID officers don’t have many cases on their hands. All of them solve one case at a time. And they are not even remotely shown eating or having a life outside work. Best of all, whatever the surface, the car always manages to come to a screeching halt. Ahhh, life is perfect in CID.

 

SAY NA SOMETHING

CIDjokePredictable is the exact word to describe the dialouges. I list a few popular ones for your perusal:

1. Daya, darwaza tod do!

2. Kuch toh gadbad hai.

3. Daya, yeh aise nahi batayega, isse bureau le chalo!

4. Toh laash gayee kahan?

5. Ab puri zindagi sadte rehna jail mein.

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