I miss the 90s. The endless fidgeting with tape recorders, side A and side B, Alisha Chinai’s firangan hair, Baba Sehgal’s ‘Aaja Meri Gaadi Me Baithja‘ and the ‘fugly’ remix kings. This is the music I grew up with before selling my soul to the Angrezi beats. Being a hardcore Bollywood buff, I was fascinated by the whole shaadi sequences in those 4-minute videos (remember Malaika Arora ‘making chapatis’ with her palms in Gur Naal Ishq Mitha?), ‘Mehndi Ki Raat’ and …’Anaida’s Oonchi Neechi Hai Dagariya‘. While these are artists/songs I would definitely make my kids listen to, there are some artists I would make sure my kids never, never come across. Allow me to share names of top 5 late nineties’-early Y2K’s artists that we all loved but can’t bear now. Unless they’re participating in the upcoming season of Big Boss, in which case, I’d love to stock on some popcorn.
While these are artists/songs I would definitely make my kids listen to, there are some artists I would make sure my kids never, never come across. Allow me to share names of some late nineties’-early Y2K’s artists that we all loved but can’t bear now.
Disclaimer: I know most of you would say, you still listen to the following. But do you have them in your iPod? What? Did I hear No? So, yeah, boo-hoo!
1. Altaf Raja
From chai ki tapris to traffic signals to the times when you’re 6 pegs down and crooning to ‘Tum to Thehre Pardesi‘ with your equally-pathetic-at-singing friends, Altaf bhai will never fail to make his presence felt. Admit it, it is not because of school but him that today, you know the calendar by heart (Jab tumse ittefaqan meri nazar mili thi, ab yaad aa raha hai shayad wo Janvari thi)! Now, try hitting on a girl singing this one in today’s time. She’ll make sure you end up like an ‘Awaara hawaa ka jhonka’!
2. Devang Patel
Rap can be good. Rap can be bad. But it was only until I listened to Mr. Patel that I learned that Rap can be spoofed! Peechadi pe kutta kaata.. bhow bhow bhow is definitely NOT what I would want to listen to now. I mean, come on, haven’t we reached new lows in the last 10 years? There are worse songs today to make fun of (*cough* Yo Yo Honey Singh *cough*). I used to love Patel’s ‘Maadhuri Mili Mujhe Raste Mein’ and ‘Meri Marzi’ when I was a teen. Not sure if I like him now.
3. Falguni Pathak
She makes me shed a tear or two as I reminisce the good ol’ days. Take ‘Yaad Piya Ki Aane Lagi’ or ‘Maine Paayal Hai Chhankayi’, for instance. The Dandiya Queen religiously makes her presence felt every year during the Navratris and makes sure you dance to her tunes in ghaghra-cholis. However, to listen to her somewhere else… now that, would be a gargantuan task. Her videos are extremely cute and remind you of your teen flames. But I’m sure I wouldn’t put her discography on torrent to download, ever.
4. Baba Sehgal
If you follow him on Twitter, you’ll know he has not changed one bit. His songs and poetry still suck and he’s still trying to make a mark in the industry. But thanks to superstars on the site like KRK, Baba Sehgal still seems less idiotic. Coming back to the point, this singer brought to us the rap upon which the so-called-new-age-rappers capitalize. As for his songs, nope. I can’t get myself to bear him for 30 seconds. No, not even when I’m drunk.
5. Bombay Vikings
Neeraj Shridhar has got to be the most irritating singer of the lot. I tried convincing myself that the hatred is only because a guy in college hit on me by singing No one so saaaxy, in the whole galaaaxy in a pathetic voice. However, my hatred went beyond his songs. Dude… who dons a mustache and golden spikes? I’m sure when Lata didi called him to perform ‘Wo Chali Wo Chali’ on her birthday function, she wasn’t impressed by his talent. In fact, she must have wanted to show her family and friends the wreck that this man has turned her songs into.
So, yes. Comments/Disagreements/Boo-hoos are welcome. Perhaps, that’s why we make lists. After all, what’s an article without some mirch masala?