7 Things Every Punekar Says to the Traffic Police

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If you haven’t been caught by Pune traffic cops at least once for breaking a rule, then kudos, you’re the perfect citizen.

I got caught by a cop yesterday for driving without a helmet and I gave him the most ridiculous excuse ever. I confessed to him that I was suffering from a scalp allergy and the doctor had instructed me to not cover my head for a while, just in case the sweat and heat make things worse. Did he believe it? Hardly. Did I get out of the situation though? You bet. Of course, until he asked for my bike registration papers which I didn’t have. So yeah, I had to cough up more money. Lying gets you nowhere, remember this kids.

So this one is for all the pathetic excuses we’ve made to get out of sticky situations with the cops. Some have been successful, some, not so much. Check it out and analyze yourself!

Kaka, aaichi gadi ahe This is my mom’s vehicle

Perhaps the most common one, but we never seem to have the PUC and registration papers when we need them the most. So when our beloved police kaka asks us for them, we have to lie and say that the bike isn’t ours. And the documents are at home, with the owner. I don’t know if it’s ever worked for you, but it definitely hasn’t for me. I was made to call the ‘owner’ and ask them to bring the papers. Or pay the fine. Ugh.

Tyachi gadi pucture jhalie He has a flat tire.

I remember the amount of times tripsy or tripling has worked for me- zero. No matter what, they always catch you, and they should. But I know plenty of people who have tried to use this excuse to justify having three people on one bike. “We’re just dropping him back home” or “We’re driving around to check if there’s someone who can fix the flat tire”. Never works, nope.

Me sidechya dukanat hoto – Roughly translated as, “I was right there!”

One of the major hassles of Pune life is finding a parking spot for your vehicle. All thanks to our frustration, we end up parking our vehicle anywhere without checking (or caring, sometimes) for the no-parking zone. So obviously they tow our bikes and we lie about being right there. “I was away just for two minutes”. “I had parked it temporarily because I was buying something, my bike was right there in front of me. I had my eye on it”.

Navin License sathi apply kelay I have applied for a new driving license

If I was to attach a photo of my old driving license, I’m pretty sure I’d be forbidden to drive again. Tattered, dirty, and my own face missing from it, yeah. The photo just fell off. For some, the important code at the top right falls off. This makes our license damn near useless. And of course, the cops catch us. Then they laugh, or groan internally at our license’s condition. FYI, this excuse is also used by people who don’t have a license, period.

Sir, adjust kara na kahitari –  Sir, let’s barter (Loose translation, ha)

When you’re asked to pay Rs. 950 (only) for not having a license, helmet, and driving papers, it’s safe to say that you panic. I remember having Rs. 70 in my wallet once when I was asked to pay 500 bucks for breaking two traffic rules. After contemplating my broke existence for a minute, I decided to try and convince him to lower the fine. End result? He cut 100 bucks from the fine (after adding that he shouldn’t, since he had to deal with my annoying bargaining) and I had to call a friend to help me out with the money.

Me ya areat navin ahe I’m a newcomer in this area

Pretty laughable, let’s agree on that. As if the traffic rules change within the city. However, we’ve all tried this and we’ve all failed at it.

Kaka Uncle

The best for the last. Addressing him as a family member in order to soften him up.  Sometimes successful if uttered by a girl, never if it’s a guy. I’ve been told that because he’s my kaka, I should respect him and stop arguing with him. Damn.

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