Wednesday, November 22, 2017

 

Anyone who owns a two wheeler in Pune knows that riding on its roads is no less than an endeavor that warrants Zen like peace of mind, penance of the highest order and devotion to driving like no other activity demands. If the number of swear words uttered on Pune roads were to be compensated by apologising to whichever Gods we believe in, Pune would become a place holier than Vatican City! However, the brave warriors of these roads are all prone to commit or be a victim to at least one of the seven deadly sins! For the purposes of this discussion they shall be called 7 ‘roadly’ sins of Pune.

1. Lust

The deadliest sin of all, the one that can cause all others to pale in comparison. A sin best embodied by the whole road, bylane and signal trying to catch a glimpse into the interiors of a swanky new car most likely to be Jaguar or a Bugatti! The scene plays out on the signal where two guys unperturbed by the commotion they are causing are riding side by side to the swanky new car, at the same speed as the latter, stopping where it stops and looking away when the proud driver catches their glances!

2. Gluttony

An aged kaku with her sari tucked firmly in places, her two feet sticking out like landing gears of an airplane, is headed towards a bhajiwallah. Unable to control her instinct, Kaku will suddenly zoom towards the vendor, crossing (and sometimes bumping) against all obstacles to take home as many vegetables as possible, whether she needs them or not. However, when she throws caution to the wind, you are in danger and must run for your life! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

3. Greed

The most common sin of all, the deadliest sin of all, the most common root of all road accidents. This is something we ALL do, when we rush to catch that 5,4,3,2,1 of the green signal before it turns red again for the next hour-like seconds! Our greed for the green has always brought hazardous consequences, hasn’t it?

4. Sloth

A veteran warrior, who has known too much, seen too much but now just can’t even… An old uncle giving his speedometer minimum displacement of just about a few micrometers at a time, unaware of just how opportune his location in the whole traffic pipeline is! If he would just.. move.. one.. inch… but NO! The warrior is steadfast in his route like the fellowship on their quest.

5. Wrath

As stated before, we are all permanently under the influence of this ‘roadly’ sin. As we go about our ways, a guy suddenly cuts across *insert expletive*, when we are rushing to park our bike in that last remaining parking spot and somebody unknowingly (?) parks their bike before you reach. We are all but venomous in our looks. Seriously, if adaptation were to come at play, we would all be sporting horns and carrying pitchforks.

6. Envy

Zip… zap.. zoom.. vvrrroooom.. bbbhhrrooomm… No, I am not listing down onomatopoeia! I am describing a scene where you are caught between the crossfire of two riders trying to race on the pothole ridden, high and low geographical relief of the city just to one up each other in this race to finish. What the race proves? Whose bike is ‘cooler!’ of course.

7. Pride

While these two ‘amateurs’ are racing, this last rider watches them with a smirk on his face. Armed with the knowledge that his bike is certainly THE coolest to ever have graced the roads of Pune, you will occasionally catch him looking around to see if anyone has taken notice of his ‘machine’ yet. By the way, this one will more often than not name his bike something cool; which will be emblazoned on the bike’s engine. Or number plate.

So, ladies and gentleman, which of the 7 sins are you guilty of?

Image Credit: By Jaskirat Singh Bawa used under Creative Commons License

 

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